Retail Christmas

So I've been hella busy in the recent weeks buying presents for everyone, and meeting up with friends and family over the festive period, that this has had to take a back seat for the time being. I'd say I was sorry but to be honest, I've had such a blast meeting up with everyone that I just can't apologise sincerely, I'm afraid...At least I'm honest!

I don't know about everyone else but working in retail at Christmas is like working in a chocolate factory at Easter, completely hectic and full of melts. The questions you're asked sin work seriously makes you question the sanity of certain customers. However, it does help you work on self control, just remember, you can't punch a customer in the face and get away with it unscathed. Some questions that I get asked just make me want to walk away crying, so to help us slaving retail workers this Christmas, please try and avoid asking any of the following:

1) Is there any in the back?

No. If there was, they would be out on the self, if you wanted something that bad, you shouldn't of waiting till Christmas Eve, muppet. 

2) Can you not order them in for Christmas?

We can yes, but the 24 hours notice you have given us is just a little too short I'm afraid. 

3) If it isn't right can I return it? 

Just cause it's Christmas doesn't mean the return policy all of a sudden does not stand anymore. If it doesn't fit you can return it, just like the other 11 months of the year, use your head. 

4) I've been waiting for ages? 

awh have you?! Sorry sweetheart next time you come in, we'll personally make sure all our staff bring you a bottle of champaign and top notch customer service despite having another thousand customers to deal with, but don't worry, you're more important than them....dream on...first come, first serve darling. 

5) Why didn't you stock more?

We did, double in fact but unfortunately, you're not the only one at Christmas who needed it. You should've come earlier. 

6) What are your opening hours? 

I don't know why don't you check on the sign you walked straight passed.

7) Gosh, it's busy isn't it? 

Yes, yes it is! Thanks for stating the fucking obvious, the massive fucking queue behind you was a bit of a giveaway though love. 

8) I know you're shut but I really need *this* item

Well, it's a good job your aware we are shut then, cause you're not coming in...

9) It was half price last week ? 

Well, it's currently this week, and it's not half price anymore, the sale is over... 

10) What can I do? *After card has been declined*

Go to the bank, if you're trying to suggest I give you these on a IOU basis, NO! Sort your shit out and come back when it's sorted...

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE...